'Shhh...daddy's sleeping!'

I've never said 'shhh...daddy's sleeping!'.  But my husband has certainly said 'shhh...mommy's sleeping!' whilst tip-toeing around.  In fact, I'd say that he's pretty much always taking care to not disturb my slumber.  If and when daddy wakes up before mommy on the weekends, he slips quietly out the bedroom door and coordinates the party from Poppy's room.  

Unfortunately for them, daddies are not granted this same courtesy.  When mommy wakes up life stampedes noisily into the bedroom in the form of Meet The Press, the dog, and, before you know it, the baby is in the matrimonial bed too.  

Meanwhile daddy has burrowed his head under the comforter to nurse his vain hope that he'll be able to continue sleeping with a dog and a baby crawling on him.  And it certainly doesn't help matters that mommy keeps requesting that daddy's bagel delivery service be expedited this morning:  

'I'll take my usual, honey lamb: cranberry with low-fat almond cream cheese, please'.  

Poor daddies.  

Well, Pam Allyn does what she said she would do – she tells us what to read and when.  She also tells us why we should read these books and gives us some suggestions about how we should read them.  It’s like she’s helping us to cultivate our own little familial book clubs*.   


So yea, here are my big takeaways from the book:

1) Why is ‘the read-aloud’ so important?  
-It’s the most effective way to inspire your kid to establish the lifelong habit of reading early and often (plus reading aloud is nurturing and shows that you care).  


2) How should we, logistically, go about all this reading?  Where should we read?
-One of my biggest takeaways is that I should keep baskets of books everywhere: in the kitchen, on the dining table, next to Poppy’s bathtub, next to my bed, etc..  You can categorize these baskets by author, by genre, by language, by interest, etc..  Pam’s main point on this front: books belong everywhere because lifelong readers read everywhere.

-Pam suggests that we not rush the read-aloud.  Let's take some time here, make ourselves comfortable, and savor the read-aloud.  Having said that, if you've had a long day and you’re tired, it’s totally okay to consolidate bath time and read-aloud time.  I’ve already ordered some of Pam's suggested bath time reads, including  Do Pirates Take Baths? (when I read her description of this book as a ‘bouncy jaunt through the daily activities of pirates’, I was like 'Sold!').
   

3) What should we read and when?
-Reading from a diverse variety of genres is good for everyone involved; Pam describes genres as ‘containers for thinking’.

-I enjoyed her discussion of the kinds of books we should read with 2-3 year olds.  This is the time to integrate ‘interest development’ books and to ‘be on the lookout this early for your child’s passions and interests.  They are there, and can be nurtured through your connections with your child through literature.’  


Last night, when Poppy's twitchiness was confined to the lobster**, Matt and I read Madeline to her (actually, I was the only one doing any reading).  Pam Allyn considers this to be a 'landmark book'.  She mentions Madeline  again later in her list of kids books that address the theme of 'Being Yourself'.

'something is not right!' -miss clavell

So basically, if we read these stories to our kids, we will arm them with ideas, values, and perspective – they will never be alone, and neither will we.





*Oh man, book clubs.  I’ve never done the book club thing, but I’ve always sort of wanted to.  Whenever I sign up for one I just end up canceling (ah...the canceling of plans; now there's a pastime that never ceases to provide instant gratification). 

**see  http://www.poppyadventures.com/2013/03/plugging-in-pop-tart.html 


https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1356759.Pam_Allyn

'It's Not Fitness, It's Life' (and can provide you with diversified, beautiful solitude)

Q: What is literally the best thing ever?  
A: gym childcare

they're getting ready to go to the gym

Equinox, in particular, has an excellent thing going on.  It's got everything: beautiful and inspiring internet billboards, healthy food, an excellent shop (called 'The Shop') in which you can purchase leisurewear and sportswear, ambient lighting, a treadmill, gossipy commercial real estate guys – you name it.  

They've even got a little childcare nook.  It has sparkly blue floors and costs $10 per day.  Now...there's probably some sort of time constraint on that, but I can't speak to it personally.  Here's what we have to work with: 

KIDS' CLUB HOURS
MON - FRI = 8:00am - 2:00pm; 4:00pm - 7:30pm
SAT & SUN = 8:00am - 1:00pm

they just got back from the gym

When you sign your kid in they give you this beeper thing and tell you that it's for contacting you 'in the event that there's some sort of emergency with your child'.  Despite the benign nature of this claim, when they first handed me that beeper I couldn't help but think that it had an undisclosed function – perhaps the ability to detect you leaving the building?  Hence the following experiment: an illicit errand...outside the gym.  

Yep, I did a non-exercise-related errand – I drove the 2 miles back down to our lovely apartment and basked in beautiful silence for 15 minutes.

So, now we know.  Now we know the answer: the gym childcare pager thingy is a one-dimensional communication device, not a tattle tale GPS.

Ladies (those of you who have some offspring on your hands), here we have yet another reason to work out.  It's not fitness, it's liberation.  

don't you love Equinox's steamy ads?

Drunken Sailor Phase

Going places with Poppy is generally a bumpy proposition.  I don't know exactly why it's a drunken sailor phase, but the label does seem to suit Poppy's current state of mobility: wobbly, unpredictable, easily distracted.  For example, we'll be walking down the hall on our way from the apartment to the elevator, and Poppy will plop down on the floor and poise herself for a nap – her body language making her intentions clear:  'Mommy, I've changed my mind about this.  Let's rest a bit.'   

Then she takes off one shoe (the right one) even though I asked her not to.  

Artful Board Books with Literary Flair

While shopping at The Spotty Dog Books & Ale* last week, I came across the following board book:

exhibit A

In the evenings, either pre or post bathtime depending on the degree of Poppy’s uncleanness, I summon an air of caring authority and announce to Poppy that we are going to read a book together.  Until recently, this has been the only book in the house that's truly at her level:

exhibit B

the apple and....

boat tour gets old.  it's just that these nouns aren't very inspiring-  

In these less dynamic board books, we see a picture of an apple next to the word ‘apple’.  And hey, I get it; apple is a useful and necessary word.  It’s just that...it’s not that exciting for me.  Enter BabyLit.

There're still only 1 or 2 words per page, but the pictures don’t look as if they hailed from Microsoft Word '95’s clip art gallery.  

Sherlock Holmes in his carriage that has wheels- 

that's Sherlock Holmes descending the stairs!

We all know that we should be doing it ALL THE TIME, and we want to; we really do.  It's just...the apple and boat tour get rather dull night after night.  It’s just more likely that I’ll read to my toddler if it's from an artful baby book with some literary flavor.  And who knows; maybe this early exposure will translate into an interest in Shakespeare that will resurface in her 5th grade english class**. 

if given a choice, I’m gonna read this to my 19 month old-

The goal with the BabyLit board books is the same as it is with the more traditional board books: to upload a few more words into Poppy's little noggin.  So thank you, BabyLit, for decreasing the likelihood that I’ll skip the reading and just plop Poppy in front of TV (a last resort that both common sense and The American Society of Pediatrics discourage).








*a charming little bookstore in Upstate New York.  
http://www.thespottydog.com/blog/
Cute huh?


**In answer to your question, yes.  Yes, I know that there's little chance of that actually  happening.



BabyLit's series of 12 literature-inspired board books were illustrated by Alison Oliver.
http://pure-sugar.com/illustration/books/

http://www.babylit.com/shop-books/

Poppy's First Haircut

I wanted to get little Poppy O. some bangs in order to avoid the frequent and unsavory experience of her hair ending up in food and in her nose.  The thing is though, now Poppy looks like Jonathan Taylor Thomas.  Okay, maybe not that bad – but she certainly looks like she's headed for the softball field.  

'this cape with sea creatures on it does nothing for my figure.'

'i'm not gonna wear the cape anymore'

JTT

'how's my hair?'

Poppy's hairstylist is Ms. Ginger of 'Miss Ginger's Kids Cutz'.  After Poppy's haircut, Ms. Ginger put Poppy's old hair in an envelope and handed it to me.  I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it.  Am I supposed to save it just in case I need to put a spell on her when she's an angsty teenager?


www.gingerkidscutz.com

Grandparent Nomenclature: The Seven Granddaddy Dwarfs

Mothers who are on the cusp of grandmotherhood see their upcoming role as an opportunity to step outside of themselves a bit – and what better way to begin the adventure than the selection of her grandmother nickname (the ultimate consolation prize for not being consulted on the selection of her grandchild's name).  

Should she go with something traditional, like 'Grandma', 'Granny', or 'Grandmother'?  Or should she go with something like Nana, Neenee, Grams, or Grammy?  

Some grandmothers (in search for a means of self expression) ask themselves ‘Why not make it something jazzy?’.  

In her book Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother, Amy Chua describes her mother-in-law as having been gorgeous when she was young; reminiscent of Rita Hayworth (whoever that is).  Florence was witty, well put together, and had a keen art eye.  Amy Chua's daughters, as per Florence's request, called their grandmother 'Popo'.  I think that the name 'Popo’ is pretty cool actually, edgy even.  And it probably wasn’t too big a leap for a chic woman like Florence.  

And now a word on a separate, simpler task: the naming of the grandfather.  If I were going to be a grandfather, I'd select my new name from The Seven Granddaddy Dwarfs list.  Not only are these grandfather names practical, they're pretty festive too:  

1. Grumpy*
2. Doc
3. Sneezy
4. Dopey
5. Sleepy
6. Slouchy
7. Grouchy

*This is Poppy's grandfather's name.  He's actually not a grumpy person...but the name still suits him.  

Yep, future grandfathers have it easier on the nickname front.  Maybe we should come up with a Seven Grandmother Dwarves list!

Nursery Owls

It would be difficult not to notice the pervasive and sustained presence of owls as a nursery theme.  They're everywhere.  

Are we hoping to transpose sage temperament onto our offspring via décor?  Or do we just think owls are nice?

poppy has this napmat

School Selection: The Parental Coolness Quotient

We have begun to think about which preschool Poppy should go to.  She is one and a half now, and it would be ideal for her to go to a preschool that’s attached (physically or otherwise) to a grade school that has long-term potential.  Clearly, there are many things to consider when choosing a school for a child: curriculum, location, price, class size, the presence or absence of impressive alumni, a strong and dependable air-conditioning apparatus (we live in Texas).  And there’s one not-so-obvious element to consider when your leafing through those brochures and digesting statistics: the coolness quotient of the students’s parents at the perspective school.  

parental coolness quotient 

=

(the # of parents who you would 

consider hanging out with and who would
likewise consider hanging out with you)

÷

(the # of parents whose kids attend the school)

The parents of Poppy’s friends are going to be our friends, therefore we are taking this element into account during our pseudo-scientific pre-school search.  Proximity is a powerful thing and you, the parent, are going to be rolling up to this school once or twice per day five times a week for a long time.  Since the parental coolness quotient isn’t posted on many institutional websites, admissions events are key – these are opportunities to scope out your perspective friends.  If all of the mothers in attendance look like kids stopped being fun for them about 6 years ago...I'd move on down the road.

We attended one such admissions event last April, this one for The Dallas International School.  I eavesdropped voraciously and was happy to hear many non-regional accents; Matt likes the idea of Poppy going to a school where children of ‘hard-working immigrants’ are in matriculation.  Children whose parents and/or grandparents reminisce about communist repression and super long breadlines – children who are less likely to take capitalism and blatant opportunity for granted.

The likability of the school’s parents matters.  What kind of people do you want to hang with?  Aside from the office, the sandbox is where you’re likely going to meet new people with similar lifestyles and interests (and yes, I’m using the sandbox metaphor despite the creepy pedophile connotation).  



http://www.poppyadventures.com/2013/05/dont-hover.html

Kid Crocs are generally offered in a variety of solid colors, which eases the challenging process of having your baby look well put together (ie. her outfit matches).  Bonus: if you child wants to liven up his or her footwear the geniuses at Crocs have just the thing for you: shoe charms.  You simply insert them into those little holes.  

these charms for kids crocs are called Jibbitz
and i must say that i think they're pretty cool-

I opted out of the charm bit.  Not for any stylistic reason – I actually think that they're quite festive – it's just that I'm sure Poppy would pull them off and leave them laying around just like she does everything else.  She's a messy little Pop-Tart.

poppy helping Ikea organize their merchandise-

Optimal Toddler Footwear

Crocs are probably definitely the optimal choice in modern toddler footwear.  The fact that socks are optional was the tipping point for me; given Poppy's perpetually squirmy comportment, I welcome anything that eases the process of getting her dressed.  If she's being feisty (which is fairly often), this process easily qualifies as an athletic activity: there's some chasing, then you have to steady and balance The Pop-Tart's small but limber body long enough to get it into some pants.  It's often the case that, once you get her left leg into the pants and are working on the right leg, she takes that left one back out again.  So yea, the option to skip an entire genre of clothing is lovely.  

But adults wearing Crocs...that's a different story. Nothing says 'I've given up' like wearing rubber shoes. 

shoes

Don’t You Love It When People Are Really, Really, Unambiguously Into You?

In the adult world, people don't clap when you enter a room.  It's a shame really, that lack of boisterous enthusiasm for other human beings.  That's why I'm always happy that Poppy is always happy to see me.  It's quite refreshing when someone applauds and yells 'yaaaayyy' upon your arrival.  Whenever I go to pick her up from Mommy's Day Out (that's just a euphemism for 'daycare' that was invented to make the institution more palatable) she's generally pretty busy doin' her work and playing with her friends.  When she does look up and see me standing there it's always the same sunny salutation – with the clapping and the 'yyaaaayyy' – and it makes me feel like I'm doing something* right. 


*Even if 'that thing' is merely the effective cultivation of a 1 person fan club.

Therapy Session

We do not read to Poppy often enough, and I know that that's really bad.  It's just that I find it tedious; I don't read fiction personally, and kid books are fiction.  I'm very American in that regard.  You know how it goes: 'no time to waste, must learn things and improve self'.  

So, while Poppy's little books are cute and the illustrations can be entertaining and all, I still find them too tedious to read to her on a nightly basis.  I'd say that I probably only read to her 4 or 5 times per week.  These sessions generally begin with a reading from Bisou (by Benoît Charlat): 

followed by a Hairy Maclary book (by Lynley Dodd):

this one is actually pretty fun. there's a dachshund
named Schnitzel von Krumm ('with a very low tum')

Do you remember that split-screen scene in Annie Hall where we experience Woody Allen and Diane Keaton in their respective therapy sessions?

Alvie's therapist:  'How often do you sleep together?'

Annie's therapist:   'Do you have sex often?'

Alvie:  'Hardly ever, maybe 3 times per week.' 

Annie:  'Constantly, I'd say 3 times per week.'

I'm fairly certain that, if Poppy had a more advanced language capacity and if we both had therapists, a split-screen scene of our therapy sessions would play out in a similar fashion:

My therapist:  'How often do you read to her?'

Poppy's therapist:  'Does she read to you often?'

me:  'Hardly ever, maybe 5 times per week.'

Poppy:  'Oh my goodness...constantly.  I'd say 5 times per week.'

http://www.amazon.fr/Bisou-Beno%C3%AEt-Charlat/dp/284865564X/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379347507&sr=1-5&keywords=bisous

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hairy-Maclary-Donaldsons-Dairy-Friends/dp/0670913502/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379347930&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hairy-Maclary-Zachary-Quack-Friends/dp/0141381132/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379347488&sr=1-4&keywords=harry+maclary

The One Couple Who Definitely Read Enough To Their Kids*

There was an article about Stephen King's family in The New York Times Magazine  that left me freshly inspired:

'Entertaining their parents, for the King children, was part job, part enrichment. At bedtime, they were the ones expected to tell their parents stories, instead of the other way around.'  'If reading was a common escape in the King household, it was nonetheless deeply social. They read on tape, but they also took turns reading aloud after dinner, passing around “The Hobbit” or the Narnia chronicles.'

the article highlighted how close the Kings are to one another-

Did the Kings simply not have a TV in the house when their kids were growing up?  

There's this wonderful french expression:  to be <<en train de>> something.  It means to be 'in the middle of doing something', or to be 'in the flow of doing something'.  I imagine that, even in the face of the hypnotic vortex that is TV, if you began reading The Hobbit or The Poisonwood Bible or Fifty Shades of Grey  aloud with your child after dinner, you guys would likely become engrossed in the story and your communal experience of the it.  So engrossed that after dinner novel reading would quickly become a habit.  You and your lot would eventually even prefer  family storytime to the clacking television sooner rather than never.




http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/04/magazine/stephen-kings-family-business.html?pagewanted=all

*Well, there's probably more than one, but I don't know of any others offhand.

The Ultimate Recalibration

The Pop-Tart's passport photo/mug shot

I'm an enormous fan of  letting one of the many sets of grandparents take Poppy for a sleepover.  Babysitters are great for a date night planned on the fly, but locally or even quasi-locally based grandparents are the ideal supplementary caregivers.  Let's face it...at this point, they probably love your baby more than they love you, therefore the grandparental sleepover is a mutually beneficial institution.  They get to play with their beloved grandchild, you get to throw maturity and responsibility to the wind (or out the window...whichever you prefer) for an entire evening.  When you and your significant other return home after a thorough romp about town, the air in the house has a light and peaceful quality reminiscent of days gone by.  
Point made.     

Lena Dunham's Mommy

I love it when people are out there, you know, just out there doing what they've always wanted to do and doing it well.  In addition to her epically original and epically successful HBO series Girls, Lena Dunham recently got a $3.7 million advance from Random House to write a book of essays (that's a hardy piece of validation).

So where did this 26 year-old find career inspiration?  In her interview with Alec Baldwin* on his NPR radio show Here's The Thing,  Lena says that she was inspired by her mother's work as an artist; that she was turned on by its element of permanence.

excellent cardigan Mrs. Dunham

Lena chats with Alec about the source of her closeness with her mother:

Lena Dunham:  Something I like about both my parents, and I’d imagine you’re like this with kids too, is they really talked to me like I was an adult always. And I love that. And I love talking to kids like they’re adults because it’s like they kind of come alive when you just ask them real questions.

Alec Baldwin: Yes.

Lena Dunham: My mom always really let me into her world and say, ‘I’m working right now. I’ll talk to you in 10 minutes.’ Just having that kind of access to her was amazing.

Alec Baldwin: Sincerity.



Lately I've been catching myself speaking to Poppy with that silly, almost cartoonish voice that adults use with kids.  It's shameful.  I'm going to try to speak to her as an adult, without the condescending high-pitches. 



Another interesting part of the interview:

Alec Baldwin: Someone said to me, ‘To be a famous star you have to have two double-syllable names.’

Lena Dunham: My mom did tell me that she gave me my name, which is so funny because it’s not like we have any actors in our family.

Alec Baldwin: You’re real name is what? Svetlana?

Lena Dunham: My mom said, ‘I named you after my Russian great-grandmother.’ My mom said when she named me she thought, ‘I don’t know what you’ll want to do, but this is a great name if she does want to be a movie star.’ That was what my mom thought. Which is so funny because it’s not like my mom’s some crazy stage mom or like -'


Only awesome moms take this kind of thing into consideration.  


Here's a great scene from Tiny Furniture  (yes, Lena cast her mom in her first feature film).  Even though Lena's mom isn't portrayed positively in this particular scene, it's still clear that they have an real and honest thing going (I wish that I wanted/had this kind of relationship with my own mother, but instead we are happily under committed to one another).  If that weren't true I doubt that Lena's mom would be able to say things such as 'like Bob would go to the opening of a fucking envelope' to Lena with such ease.  

Here's the interview podcast:
http://www.wnyc.org/shows/heresthething/2013/jan/21/




* Oh Alec Baldwin...that guy is everywhere: Woody Allen films, SNL, random commercials, public radio, the 5 timer's club...and he's apparently also on the board of some international cigar smoking club.