Don’t Hover

One of the big take-aways in Pamela Druckerman’s Bébé Day By Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting is that autonomy is crucial for children.  When a mother hovers over her child too much in France, someone is apt to say: 'Just let him live his life!'

This means that French mothers generally do drop-off playdates: 'French parents don't feel they must supervise another adult's supervision of their child, or stick around to reassure the child herself.  They make sure that they're in good hands, then they leave.  Usually they're invited back for coffee or cocktails at the end'. 

We like to hang out with our friends the Romanians.  We call them the Romanians because they are from Romania, and also because whenever I say ‘we’re going to hang out with the Romanians tonight’ it kinda sounds like we are going to hang out with an eastern-block rockband.  They’re not a band, which is okay because they do have a 1.75 year old son (baby Romania).  Matt, Poppy and I go Chez Romania on Friday nights and it’s great – Baby Romania and Poppy get along well together, the Romanians have a back yard, a grill, etc..  People who have offspring tend to spend time with other people who have offspring; the kids entertain themselves as the mothers hovernearby drinking wine and talking about the babies.  The men are always farther away from the children than the women are, and they're discussing business, not babies.  This situation creates a charming little culture that I adore being a part of.     

Will You Take Care of This Baby? (part 2 of many)

All chapters come to an end, but sometimes you wish they wouldn't.  One such chapter is Poppy's Mini-Mustang Land.  

SMU Preschool and Childcare Center is a dream institution by anyone's standards – it's a land of learning, a land of love, a land of low teacher-to-student ratios (in the infant room the ratio is 1:2, there are 2 teachers and 4 infants.  Excellent.)   It is recommended that SMU's students and faculty who want to put their kids here get on the wait list 2 to 3 years in advance.  

mini-mustang land

It was last December when I found out that one of my spring classes was going to be an 8:00am-er.  This meant that on-campus childcare would be ideal (more than ideal really).  I had not put Poppy on the wait list 2 to 3 years in advance.  So I decided to go sing my plight to the Director lady of SMU Preschool and Childcare Center.  She happened to be outside when I approached Hawk Hall on that crisp/chirpy December morning.  I recognized her as the Director lady from 100 yards away*. 

me: 'Hello, are you Miss Julie?'

Director lady: 'Why yes I am.'

me: 'I thought that you looked like her.  You look like someone who is accustomed to being approached by mothers who need someone to look after their children.'

Director lady:  [stares blankly]

me: 'The thing is that I was wondering if I could leave my baby here with you while I'm in class next semester.  She'll be 7 months old.'

[I pause to give her a look conveying that I am very nice and also very deserving of her services.] 

me: 'I'm sure you're full, but maybe I could get on a wait list or something?'

Director lady: 'Well that wouldn't do you any good, there are 43 babies on the wait list and there is space for only 4 babies total in the center.'

me: 'It would only be this one semester, Poppy and I are off to grad school after that.'

Director lady: 'So it would be only for Spring 2013, January through May?'

me: 'Oh yes, uh-huh, only one semester.  My daughter and I are going to graduate school after that.  It is just a very short amount of time.  And my baby is VERY well-behaved.  I'm sure that  all parents who are trying to get in here say that, but my baby really is well-behaved.  I wouldn't say that if it weren't true.  Promise.'

Director lady: 'Well, let me get your number...'

I hand her my envelope with Poppy's application in it, and try to give her the check for the application fee.

Director lady: 'No, I don't want to take your check yet.  But, since it'd only be for a short time, maybe there is something I could do.'

She recites their tuition schedule.

me: 'Oh, yes, that's fine.  I can go ahead and pay a deposit....'

Director lady: 'Well, let me talk to my supervisor and get back to you by Wednesday.'

me: 'Perfect.  That would be AMAZING!  Thank you so much!'

eggs

'where are the eggs?'

I didn't think that I'd find a place like this to put The Pop-Tart.  The following is an email thread from the middle of the Spring semester: 


me: 'SMU childcare has been the most perfect situation ever for us.  And remember that one morning...I told you that she was a good/well-behaved baby whilst begging for a spot!  (lol)'

Director lady (aka Miss Julie): 'It all worked out for the best and you touched my heart!!!!! I knew we were meant to "run" into each other that morning!!  You sold yourself the right way........LOL!'  




The semester has ended, so it is now time for Poppy and I to ride on to our next adventure...

*These women are generally pretty easy to spot.  Directors of childcare centers are important people.  I've met three of these ladies so far, and I gotta tell ya, they have been strikingly similar.  The ones whom I've met have all been jovial/jolly, confident, ample types who add liberal amounts of hairspray to their hairdos.  I love these women even though they intimidate the heck out of me.  

Disco Dancin'

In general, we are still a bit unsure of what we're supposed to do with Poppy.  Yesterday Matt, Poppy and I went to Music Together's Summer Luau Disco Party (and yes, it's exactly what is sounds like it is).  

Poppy was initially intimidated by all the people and all the ruckus.     

'oh my goodness mommy, what's all this about?'

'who are all these people?'

'okay, i'll dance if you hold me'

'okay, i'm fine now mommy,
you can put me down.  let's do this thing.'

The Pop-Tart is freed from the shackles of intimidation, and I spend the rest of the hour hovering as her dancing bodyguard to make sure she doesn't get stepped on. 

http://www.musictogetherdallas.com/